Mind your Eeveelutions
by AnotherPKFan
Summary: 4 teachers are tasked to teach a group of crazy Eeveelutions, including an Eevee. How long will they last before they suicide, or go crazy themselves?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, everyone!**

**I kinda wanted to try out writing a comedy fanfic series. I hope you'll get a laugh out of this, or a giggle or smirk, anything. I've never tried anything like this before, so sorry! Reviews are appreciated!**

**I don't own Pokemon. But I wish I did. Also, cover art is made by Kureculari in deviantart. Really cute, and please check Kureculari out for more awesome art!**

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The school bell rang exactly on 8 am, signalling the first period of the day. Which, no one came to, except Ms. Heisenhoff, principal of the school. So she was surprised when she heard a knock coming from her door. The door swung open slowly, and a cute Eeveelution greeted her.

''Squeeze me please, lady.'' The Glaceon smiled.

''...I beg your pardon, what?'' Ms. Heisenhoff gaped at the blue Pokemon.

''Squeeze me!'' He said, smiling. ''You know, squeeze me, I want to ask you a question?''

''You mean...excuse me.'' Ms. Heisenhoff sighed, and Glaceon nodded.

''Yes! I am cumming here for to be learning the education!'' He bobbed his head.

''_Coming. _And as...degraded as your english is, I have to admit, you're early.'' Ms. Heisenhoff commented.

''Oh no! I'm Ali.'' The Glaceon shook his head.

''I beg your pardon?''

''My name is Ali. Ali Glacier.'' Ali said. ''And I am very excited to be with you!''

''That sounds so wrong.'' Ms. Heisenhoff sighed to herself. ''Did you bring anything with you, for your lessons?''

''Yah!'' Ali reached into his back and pulled out a yellow book. ''I brought a silly bus book with me!''

''Syllabus.'' Ms. Heisenhoff corrected, and the Glaceon shook his head, confused.

''What is the difference, lady?'' He asked.

''You'll know more when you start your english classes. I'll schedule this whole week to be with the english teacher.'' Ms. Heisenhoff said.

''What is english?''

Ms. Heisenhoff gaped at the Glaceon, dumbfounded. ''...You know what? Never mind, just go down to room 9, on the corridor on your left.''

''Room...9. Go left, on corridor.'' Ali repeated slowly.

''Right!''

''You are confusing me!'' Ali wailed. ''Right or left!''

''I-egh-mff...just go to room 9.'' Ms. Heisenhoff facepawed, and shoved the Glaceon out of the office.

. . .

Ms. Heisenhoff sighed, sitting back down on her couch. What a perfect time to sip on some coffee...

The door banged open, and Ms. Heisenhoff sputtered. She stared, shocked, at the coughing Croagunk.

''Ms. Heisenhoff, may I enter?'' He asked nervously. ''I don't mean sexually! I mean-''

''Stop.'' Ms. Heisenhoff lifted a paw. ''What is it that you want?''

''I have come to fill in the wanted applicant of an english teacher!'' He saluted.

''Do you have insurance against madness?''

''No.''

''Insurance against suicide?''

''No.''

''Is there a mental asylum located near here?''

''No. Why?''

Ms. Heisenhoff sighed, and gazed pitifully at the Croagunk. ''What a pity.''

''Rest assured, Ms. Heisenhoff, I will not be deterred by work!'' The Croagunk said. ''My name is Mr. Brown, by the way.''

''Room 9. You start at 10 am.'' Ms. Heisenhoff raised a shaky paw, and the Croagunk trotted out happily, whistling a merry tune. Ms. Heisenhoff sighed; He's a goner by tomorrow...

. . .

**(Mr. Brown's POV)**

I checked my watch. Perfect! Exactly at 10 am sharp. I didn't even have to remind myself that time!

I took a deep breath, and opened the door to my new class.

It was pretty noisy. There was a Glaceon, Umbreon, Flareon, Vaporeon, Jolteon, Leafeon, and an Eevee. And they were all chatting away. I tried to ask them to calm down, but to no avail. So I picked up a bell from the table and rang it, and everyone stopped talking.

''Well, good morning class!'' I greeted. ''I am your new teacher, and-''

''Si! Professori!'' The Umbreon came up and patted me on the back. ''Is good to see you!''

''The name is Mr. Brown, if you'd please.'' I said. ''Everyone, take a seat.''

The Eeveelutions all went to random seats and stared at me.

''Well, class, as none of you may know,'' I took out a marker from the drawer,''I am your new english teacher. And form teacher.''

''Mr. Brown!'' The Glaceon raised a paw. ''Are you a printer?''

''A form teacher is a teacher that is overall in charge.'' I sighed.

''Jolly good!'' The Glaceon nodded.

''Anyway...I'd like you all to please tell me your names. You can start first.'' I pointed to the Umbreon, and he stood up.

''Maximillian Andreas Achimedes Poppanraiu.'' He said.

''Um...let's just go with Max.'' I gestured for him to sit down.

''I'm Poolie Waterfall.'' The Vaporeon said.

''I'm Amie Waterfall!'' The Jolteon said.

''And I'm Denver Waterfall.'' The Flareon said dejectedly, and the three eeveelutions said together, ''We're triplets!''

''Very nice.'' I nodded. ''What about you, Glaceon?''

''I'm Ali. Ali Glacier.'' He said, then took out a book. ''I have your silly bus with me!''

''I'm Aiden.'' The Eevee said, before I got a chance to speak. ''I'm new here.''

''And um..I'm Lily!'' The Leafeon said. ''I like hugs!''

''Ooookay.'' I decided to ignore that last comment, and began to write on the board.

''Class, the first topic we're going to work on today, is online scams. How many of you have been on the internet?''

Everyone raised their hands.

''And how many of you have received emails about, winning a lucky draw, for example?''

Everyone raised their hands.

''Ali. Stand.'' I commanded, and the Glaceon stood up from his chair.

''What is one example of an online scam?'' I asked.

''Fake underwear sales!'' He piped, and everyone laughed.

''Well, I'll accept that.'' I shook my head. ''Now, let's take a lucky draw, for example. Have you ever gotten a lucky draw saying you have won one million dollars, but you need to pay a thousand as a deposit before they pay you a million?''

''No problem, no problem!'' Ali said. ''Just deduct it from my one million dollars.''

Everyone burst into laughter, and I cracked a smile. Hey, it was funny!

''Very ingenious, Ali.'' I sighed. ''But such adds like this are a perfect example of online scams. Which is why you need to-''

The door swung open, and an Espeon barged through, holding a pink bag.

''Sorry! Sorry!'' The Espeon bowed. ''I'm so sorry I'm late!''

The males all whistled, and the Espeon looked at me. ''What a cutie you are, you! Where is the english teacher?''

''Me.'' I said, and she gasped. ''But you're too young to be the teacher!''

''Well, thank you, miss...''

''Anna. Anna Rose.'' She bowed.

''Well Anna, you may take a seat here.'' I pointed to the empty table with two chairs, and immediately, Denver and Aiden stood up, walking to me.

''Yes, what is the matter?'' I tapped my foot impatiently.

''I tell you what's wrong, Mr. White.'' Aiden said.

''Brown!''

''Scusi. It's about where we sit!'' Aiden protested.

''What's wrong with where you were sitting before?''

''It's my eyes, proffessori!'' Aiden said. ''I gotta sit closer to the front, right here.'' He pointed to the empty chair next to Anna.

''I suppose it has nothing to do with the fact that Anna is sitting there too?'' I sighed.

''She is?!'' Aiden gasped. ''I never noticed! See, I'm a little short sighted.''

''And a bigger liar.'' Denver said.

''That's not true, Mr. Green.'' Aiden protested.

''The name is Brown!''

''YOU SEE PROFFESSORI, I'M COLORBLIND AS WELL!'' He wailed.

I took a deep breath, and turned to Denver. ''And I suppose your eyes are a little short sighted too?''

''Oh no, I just wanted to be closer to the dustbin.'' Denver pointed to the plastic dustbin in the corner of the room. ''I sharpen my pencils a lot.''

''...Go back to your seats, the two of you.'' I sighed, and they went back, grumbling.

Anna stood up slowly. ''I hope I wasn't...how you say...too forward?'' She leaned forward, exposing her bare chest.

''You are at this rate.'' I gently pushed her down. She sulked and pouted.

''Now, as I was saying, such adds like this are a perfect example of online scams. Which is why you need to-''

''AT-CHOO!'' Ali sneezed. ''Jolly sorry, Mr. Brown.''

''...perfect example of online scams. Which is why you need to-''

''Mr. Brown!'' Ms. Heisenhoff's voice rang from behind the door. ''You have a call!''

''I'm never getting past this sentence.'' I sighed, and walked out the door. ''Class dismissed. Everyone please return to your homes.''

. . .

''I hope you realize that your caller has called me 60 times in the last hour, asking about you.'' Ms. Heisenhoff huffed. ''She seems determined to meet you.''

''I wonder who it is?'' We walked into the principal's office.

I picked up the phone and listened. ''Hello?''

''Brownie!'' A voice said happily, and my heart jumped out my mouth.

''I miss you so much, Brownie! Can we meet again, pleaaaaa-''

I slammed the phone, and saw Ms. Heisenhoff staring at me curiously.

''Er...it was a prank call from my friend!'' I said nervously. ''Well, if we're done and all, I gotta get back home, so...''

''Oh! Have you written down the particulars of every student?'' Ms. Heisenhoff asked, and I facepawed.

''I knew I forgot something today...I'll ask them tomorrow. Bye!'' I ran out of the room and into the lift.

''Wait!'' Ms. Heisenhoff called, but I was already down at the lobby, rushing into my house to scream at my toilet, and then falling from exhaustion at my bed...

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**Well, I hope you had a good kick out of it, and I hope you enjoyed reading! Sorry if it seemed so rushed, I'm on a really tight schedule this week...well, goodbye, and I'll see you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Another chapter of lame crackpot jokes! So much fun...**

**Just kidding. Hope you get a giggle out of this!**

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The very next day, I dragged my feet across the halls of the school, into my english room. I wonder what the students have all been doing? Are there going to be any new students?

I opened the door, and saw a Shinx sitting on the table.

''Excuse me, sir,'' I greeted politely. ''You're supposed to sit on the chair, not the table.''

''Por favor?'' He asked.

''Chair. Chair!'' I repeatedly pointed to him. ''Sit down!''

''Ah! S'Alright!'' He clapped his hands, and lied down on the chair, finally.

The doors of the classroom burst open, and the rest of the students arrived.

''Ah! Good to see you all again!'' I said, and Anna walked up to me, batting her eyelids.

''Did you miss me, Mr. Brown?'' She asked, bending lower and lower. ''Would you like to see more on-''

''That's perfectly all right! Now sit down!'' I gently pushed her up. She huffed and went back to her seat.

''Well, as you all may know, we have a new student: Juan Cervantes.'' I pointed to the Shinx, and he stood up.

''Por favor?''

''Never mind!'' I pushed him down, then went back to my blackboard.

''Well, I'd like to start a new topic for today. The topic of everyday activities; what you will do in the course of every day.'' I took out a piece of chalk, and began scribbling some words on the board.

''Juan.''

''Si Senore?''

''What do you do when you are sick?''

''Eh, go to bed.''

There was a murmur of laughter.

''But what do you do before that?'' I queried.

''Eh, take da clothes off,'' He said, and everyone laughed.

''Juan,'' I resi sted the urge to run my paw down my face, ''You go to a doctor when you're sick.''

''No doctor. Doctor killed my cousin, Midred.'' Juan adamantly shook his head.

''Really? What happened?''

''You see, my cousin was feeling pain in the chest. And the doctor say, s'alright! Ten minutes later, he died.''

''Heart attack?''

''No, no,'' He shook his head. ''Motorcar.''

''...Will all due respect, Juan, I don't think the doctor's to blame for that.''

''Si, si! The doctor, he was driving the motorcar!''

There was an outburst of laughter, and I waited for it to die down.

''Well, that's very sad, but we must be getting on with the program.''

''Squeeze please,'' Ali stood up, ''I did not know we are learning about programs!''

''Look, never mind about that!'' I waved a hand irritably. ''Sit down!''

''Amie?'' I asked, and she stood up. ''Where do you buy a Television set?''

''I do not buy such things,'' She folded her arms crossly. ''They are bad for us.''

''Si, Professori!'' Max stood up. ''My uncle, Miguel, he had bad legs from his television set.''

''Max, how could your uncle possibly get bad legs from his television?''

''He dropped it on his foot!''

The class giggled, and I called for silence.

''I see that Spanish people have very unique...relationships.''

''Por favor?''

''Never mind, Juan! Lily, I have here with me,'' I took out some groceries from my bag, ''A selection of items. Your job is to tell me what is what.''

I held up an apple, and Ali took it.

''Apple!'' He said, and bit into the core.

''You're not supposed to eat it!''

''Jolly sorry,'' He held the apple sheepishly.

''Anna, what is this!'' I held up a packet of flour.

''Paper bag.''

''Yeah, but what is inside?''

''How do I know? I've never seen it.'' Anna said petulantly.

''It is a packet of flour. Now, Aiden, what is this?''

Aiden stood up. ''Lime juice!''

''Well done! And Juan,'' I took out a carton of milk. ''What is this?''

''Cow juice!''

A flurry of laughter enveloped the room, and I called for silence again.

''No, Juan, this is milk.''

''Ah, s'alright!'' He sat down.

''As a matter of fact, can anyone tell me where does milk come from?'' I held the carton higher above my head.

Max raised his hand. ''The milkman!''

''I give up.'' I sighed, and put away the carton. ''Let's move on to another topic, the topic of grammatical errors. Denver, explain what is wrong with the sentence, 'The cows was in the field.' ''

''The cows...was...not in the field.''

''No, Denver.''

''The cows...was...in another field.''

''The cows were in the field!'' I twirled my marker, out of habit.

''I didn't see them!'' He said, earning a round of laughter, and sat down.

''Why are you so interested about milk, Mr. Brown?'' Anna asked seductively. ''Would you like to find out more about mi-''

''Don't finish that sentence.''

''Hokay.'' She sat down.

''Let's now talk about a subject. What do you guys want to talk about?'' I waved a hand across the classroom.

''Girls?''

''No, Max, we will not talk about girls.'' I folded my arms behind my back.

''But what else can we talk about?''

''Well, what other hobbies do you have?''

''I got plenty hobbies, but not as good as girls.'' He made a clicking sound.

''Well, try to talk about your hobbies for one minute without talking about girls.''

''Scusi. I have two other hobbies. The first is making the wine.''

''And what's the second hobby?''

''Drinking it!''

I deadpanned at him.

''After I drink it, I do my third hobby. But you don't let me talk about that. My friend, Picaso, his hobby is pinching.''

''What? He's a thief?''

''No, no!''

''But you said his hobby was pinching! What does he pinch!''

''You don't let me talk about that either!''

I gazed at him. ''Thank you, Max. Now, Juan, give us a one minute talk on stars.''

''Ah, stars!'' Juan stood up. ''In the heaven! There are plenty stars. Some pretty big stars, some little stars. Some not so big stars, some not so little stars! Some bright stars, some dull stars. Some not so bright stars, some not so-''

''Well, thank you, I don't think you need to carry on, please sit down.''

''Hey! I no speak for one minute!'' He protested.

''Well, I think you've spoken for long enough. Have a seat.''

I took out my chalk and scribbled on some words. ''Ali, complete the proverb, a bird in the hand,''

''Makes mess on your wrist!''

''...No, Ali. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Max, we're going to to a little role playing. Pretend I am an Employment officer, and you are looking for a job.''

''Okie-Cokie.'' He stood up, and bowed to me. ''Excuse me, I want to find a job.''

''I shall need your particulars. What is your name?''

''You know my name.''

''...Yeah, I do, but the officer doesn't. Now, your name.''

''Maximillian Achimedes-''

''Never mind! Your address,''

''Si.''

''Sex,''

''Occasionally.'' He shrugged.

I looked up sharply. ''I was referring to your gender, Max!''

''Ah, scusi.'' He put a paw to his mouth.

''Now, what sort of job would you like to have.''

''Plenty money job!''

''And what sort of work would you want to do to earn this 'Plenty Money'?''

''Plenty little!''

The class burst into laughter, and I stood up abruptly.

''Yes, very good, Max. Take a seat, please. Now, at this rate, you haven't the slightest chance of passing english. I suggest you read pages three to eleven today, and get a better understanding on the english language!'' I sat down, and knocked over my bag of groceries.

''Sorry, how clumsy of me!'' I said, and started picking up the groceries. ''Eh? What's this?''

''Bacon!'' Anna pointed at the styrofoam, cling covered box on my hand.

''Excellent, Anna! As a matter of fact, where do you get bacon?''

''Si senor!'' Juan raised a paw. ''The milkman!''

''No, Juan. Bacon comes from pigs. Now, can anyone tell me what we call a pig after it is killed?''

''Yes please,'' Ali said. ''It is a dead pig!''

''Pork! And just for that, you are all going to be doing extra homework tonight!'' I said firmly, getting a lot of whining and grumbling from the receiving end.

''Silence! Class dismissed for now, see you all tomorrow! And do your homework!'' I bowed to my students, and dashed out of the classroom.

''Hey! Mr. Brown forgot his milk!'' Anna held up the milk carton.

''S'Alright!'' Juan took it from her paws. ''I sell it to the milkman.''

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**I hope you giggle or anything, then I'm happy :D**

**Goodbye for now!**


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